| Vego was sitting in his same chair, as per normal. Life was drifting along slowly, almost mimicking the dusk in the air; the dust that was impossible to get rid of no matter how hard one tried. He yawned and then cast his gaze down to the book on his lap, this thing that had come to be called his journal, the record of his memories. He didn't open it yet; he simply stared at the cover. He was deep in thought or at least gave that impression.
After an immeasurable amount of time his left ear ticked once and he reached for a pen on the nearby desk. He leaned back in his chair and cupped the journal in one paw. With a quick jerk of said paw the book opened to the marked page, a blank one. He then began
Sometimes I wonder what a normal life is like. I know that given the places I have been and people I have known, normal is something impossible to even fathom. But sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had been born in a normal society, been raised and taught and found someone who was like myself.
The other day it dawned on me that I was getting older. I'm not old, old, but I am aging. I remember when I was first thrown into the pens years ago. I was young, shorter, a little thinner, scared and alone. And then I recall that troubling thought that was lurking in the back of my mind. When I was tossed into the pens, Amocin still looked the was she does now. She will always look like that. She is immortal.
And I am not.
So what will become of this? I know this isn't anything new but I have just now begun to think of it. What happens when I die? Will she live on and find another mate to do the same thing over again? I've asked her before and I think the answer was something along the lines of 'I'd just kill myself'. I find this hard to believe. I know love is love, but still...it just seems so unreal.
I don't know. Maybe this is just a momentary lapse. Maybe I'm just trying to create problems since nothing ever really happens out here.
Vego took the time to read over what he had written. He shook his head lightly and returned to staring down at those inked words. There was something else on his mind, a few things.
Amocin has recently asked me about traveling. Something involving Zexnon and a war...I can't really remember the details. I haven't decided yet, but I can't help but recall the purpose for being out here. I could have sworn that we came out here to live a peaceful life...at least until Faith is all grown up. Then I'm not terribly concerned what she wants to do, war or the like. But now? I don't understand her suddenly lust for adventure, especially after all the battles she's had in her past. I would think she'd welcome some sort of change, some peace. Maybe I was wrong. I can see the wanderlust in her eyes as clearly as I hear it in her voice. She's tired of the place.
Frankly, I'm not sure what to do. Do I let her go? Or do I go with her and endanger my daughter in the process. I came out here for Faith and no one else. I want my girl to be raised in a safe environment away from the bad influences and violence. But...
Maybe the violence and brutality of the world is what makes people stronger in the end. Maybe staying up here is simply some sort of cowards way out...and maybe I'm dooming my daughter to a sheltered life..dooming her to a naive existence. I wish I had someone to get advice from.
I suppose there is nothing left to do but continue thinking or continue waiting. I'm a little stumped right now.
~V
Vego glanced down at the book once more, waiting for the ink to dry. He huffed out a little sigh and glanced around the small cabin. Toys were scattered about in one corner, illuminated by nothing more than the sunlight streaming through a window.
"What do you want, Faith?" he asked the empty room. Obviously there was no answer.
After a few more silent moments he closed the journal and returned it to the shelf. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| So here I am again writting in this stupid little journal to log my pointless existance once again. I have to ask myself, why I even write in this when there is really nothing to report at all. Same shit, different day, different month, whatever. Same same same same same! I actually took a trip into the lands that I met Vego in the other day, right before Valentine's Day.. I dont know why but I got this urge to just explore, to talk to somebody who wasnt Vego or Faith. I ran into Zexnon who has some pressing issues in which he wants me to help. This old warrior is to set off on one last battle with an old rival turned friend, turned rival, turned friend again. ... Don't ask.. I have talked to Vego about this. I know we left and came out here for just this reason.. To be safe.. To not have to go to war.. But its within my blood to want a battle, to want a fight.. To go down in the heat of war. Instead here I am trapped with the notion of dieing of old Age, as suddenly now that Is becoming a problem for reasons I cant explain.. Vego hasnt told me his thoughts on what I should do yet.. And though I assured him that I would be fine.. I dont think he likes the idea of me running off to another battle while he is stuck home, wondering if I will make it back alive, more so for a person whom I have been at constant odds with over the years.. Hopefully he will tell me what he thinks soon, and I will know where it is I will be going.. As I do like the idea of doing something other then hunting for food, changing diapers, and sitting around a house all day long only trying to keep it clean when the pup seems to only distroy it only moments later. Sometimes I see a rabbit outside and cant help but go out and kill it.. Yes yes I know, they are cute and fluffy and I shouldnt harm them but you must admit the hopping is annoying..
If I dont end up going off with Zex on this trip to god only knows where I may have to make a trip of my own.. Back home. I dont think Vego would want to go but I will at least try to get him to come.. It will be a little more exciting then here, and I will have something better to do then just laze about. He also could make more friends and get out more in a world he doesnt so much have to worry about being safe in.
Anyhow I dont have much other then that to report to.. If I did, well.. I would make this a bit longer but as i have stated a few times, there is virtually nothing out here for me to do to even make ends of what I have to say.. To sum up what has been going on in the past few months sence I moved.. I have just been raising a kid, and acting like a Mother and wife does.. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Vego walked out of his room, a paw moving up to scratch his chest, which was bare once more. It seemed a habit now, why bother with full clothing when no one was around to be offended, not that there was anything offensive. Vego, through various means of 'outdoor' work, was able to burn off his beer fat and replace it with his formal muscles. Plus out here there was no reason to be drunk, even though he had a bottle stashed away for those 'just in case' moments.
On his way from the bedroom he paused momentarily to stare at the bookshelf. He reached forward to pull the book from it's hidden stop and placed it on the table. After acquiring a cup of coffee and a pen he sat down and opened the journal. Time to put in some words while the wife and daughter were out.
I have forgotten what day it is.
It's somewhat comforting, not knowing what day it is, there are no obligations nor any dates or plans. This is something I missed from my days as a slave. Time was meaningless and now it is again. I can watch my daughter grow and keep time only by that. Years are more important now than simple days.
He scratched his chin and yawned broadly.
You know, if someone were to probably record my life after the OoA I'm sure no one would dare to read it. It's becoming routine and mundane but in a welcomed fashion. No more drama or politics. No nothing.
But because of that I think I'm going a bit peculiar. I have no male friends out here so I have no one to burp and fart infront of or share whatever it is that men share, which I'm assuming is the latest fuck or the latest kill. I'm afraid that my latest fuck wouldn't be much of a surprise. The good thing about not having anyone bother us is we can have sex just about any time we want, assuming Faith is asleep or playing or whatever we can find for her to occupy her time with. But a part of me does long for someone to just shoot the shit with. Of course another part of me wants to just not bother.
I think I saw some people a few miles north of her but I never bothered to stop by and greet them. Meeting new people just seems so terribly daunting. But I do miss being able to easily by things like chocolate sauce or...
He laughed and shook his head
Gotta find something else to do, I'm getting myself off track.
But one offers another point. What other track can there be out here in the boonies. So fuck it, I'm going to stay on track and wait for the missus to get home.
Until another time when maybe more important things are happening. Don't hold your breath.
~V
He closed the book and returned it to the shelf. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| *Amocin lay in bed late at night, Vego sleeping like a log right beside her. Sleep had not come easy for her for the last few nights, so she did the only thing that could possibly help. The room was dark save the glowing depths of her eyes as she reached over to her nightstand for a leather-bound book. A pen was sitting close beside it. She had bought the thing some time ago but never really had used it until now. Helped by her glowing eyes for light she sat up slowly and began to write, careful not to disturb the sleeping wolf beside her.*
"I don’t know what has pushed me so far into writing in a journal once more but I think it’s the need to talk to some one, or something. I desperately miss my friends, and though Vego is great, there are just some things I feel the need to tell others that would not matter to him in the least. I guess what they say is true. You never know what you have until its gone.
"I don’t at all regret my choice to leave the world I knew for a safer one. I must think in the interest of my new cub and therefore we have moved into this pathetic cabin, overrun with rodents outside and the dull quietness of nature. Nothing ever happens out here, aside from the occasional fire but that I can easily handle. I feel so wasted out here. Like all I am is for nothing and can be put to no use other then to keep my child safe. Then again, what am I keeping her safe from? A small little fire that can become a big one? Or how about the little rabbits that are just plotting our doom?
"Every now and again I get out of the house and take a quiet little walk. Sometimes I meet Matay along the way and hear what he has been up to but otherwise I live a life of "same shit different day. Not much has changed on the outside world, in fact it sounds like things could be getting worse. After the walk though, sometimes Matay will come over and pick up Faith to take her out. I don’t know where they go but when they get back she is usually passed out and ready to bed, giving Vego and I some quiet time. As if we really need it.
"Some times I look back, and wonder what kind of mark I am leaving on the world, so that if ever I should die, what would my kids remember me as? Auron, well... I have no idea... When I last saw him, I don’t think I even knew who he was anymore. So maybe it’s the same with me. I am just there to him. To Alethena, I am probably the woman who stole a man from her... and little more other then the one who gave Birth to her. And Faith? What have I got to leave for Faith? That her mom was a shadow of the feline she used to be? That she isn’t the great assassin General of the OoA whose name used to be feared and now it’s as if nobody knows it exists."
*She sighed softly, her hand cramping up on her, as it had been a long time sense she last even picked up a pin. Her ears pinned back, a low groan given as she thought of how this would affect her. Her old warrior bones just not the way they used to be. She stared back down at the pages of the book, reading over what she had written and began again.*
"I think of going back at times, and wonder what would I do. I want to start killing again, the thirst for blood gets stronger every morning. But what waits for me outside these woods? Age is finally catching up on me. I started to feel it a while ago when simple tasks became harder to perform. There is a time in a Litibians life where they start to age, finally. And I think the time is starting to begin on me. I am not at all scared, as I know that I will age the same, as Vego will. I have had a long life and I am happy that it would end this way. That I have a somewhat loving family and mate."
*She heard Faith beginning to whine from the other room and signed the entry, tucking it away under the bed. She got, feeling Vego starting to stir, and tended to the waking child in the other room.* | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Vego wanders over to take a seat in a wooden chair, probably hand crafted, at a wooden table, also probably the same. The cottage was quiet, as it had been for quiet some time. He was shirtless and a little tired, panting softly from the menial task of chopping wood. After taking a moment to glance over at Faith playing quietly in the corner he reached over and pulled out a hardbound journal as well as a pen. He clicked the pen and opened the journal and thusly began:
02-04-2005
Well it's been a long time, hasn't it. It's been a long time since I've been able to finally sit down and enjoy the peace. Well, not really that long of a time but I suppose it's now worth recording. Why? Well, I couldn't give you an answer. Sometimes I fear just passing on without any record or indication to my own existence. Well...other than my wife and my child.
It's been a long time since we've left the OoA behind in search of calmer, greener pastures. We've found them, at last, and are finally able to raise our daughter in...how's a tactful way to put this...a safe environment. Maybe it was the constant random fights breaking out or the people we surrounded ourselves in that caused us to finally pack up our bags and leave. Maybe it was a number of things but it simply comes down to the fact that we were no longer safe there, or so we thought.
Matay has been kind enough to lend us his cabin. It's suitable and small which is more to my liking and probably not so much to Amocin's. I've always been used to smaller areas and the vastness of the castle was a little daunting. Also if you haven't picked up, whoever you are, my reading and writing skills have finally reached my age. It took a while but I have little else to occupy my time with. Working around the house and tending to my daughter is a task in itself and it brings a settling feeling of normality, something I've lacked. It no longer feels like I'm the ex-slave wed to a former powerful being. It now just feels like man and woman. No strings, no formalities. It was strange having people come to me with problems and frankly I didn't like it. This is better, I can earnestly say, it is.
He glanced over as he felt a tugging on his leg. It was Faith, grown quite a big since in the presence of another, school was an issue now.
"What's wrong, hunny?" Vego asked.
Faith responded with the universal 'pick me up' gesture consisting of her paws extended in the air and little grabbing motions. So Vego complied. He stuck his paws in her armpits and lifted her to settle on one knee. He provided her with a piece of paper and another pen so she could scribble to her hearts content, which she did. Now she wouldn't bother him as he gathered his thoughts once more. He tapped a claw to his muzzle in thought, old habits returning.
There are times when I miss my friends, or better, what friends I had when I could call them friends. But I think ever since we took that journey up north people never treated us the same. I don't know why but maybe it's because we were gone and everyone was wrapped up in their own affairs. I can't blame them because I fell into the same trap. Would I change things? Would I make it different if I could?
He glanced down at the top of Faith's head, crimson hair spilling out to an almost unmanageable length. He smiled.
No.
I've been able to calm down as of late. I no longer watch the horizon for fear that people are coming for us. I think everything is finally in the past. But I also fear that perhaps Amocin will become bored with this lifestyle, one which I pride so much. She has more of a violent streak than I do and I wonder when it will come back, if it will come back. But for now I see no sign of it and maybe I won't. Maybe we'll be lucky.
We haven't heard anything but the rarest news of her children and though she seems genuinely concerned I can also pick up a reluctance to enter that world once more. It's quiet out here and she knows it too. Maybe people can only fight for so long before they just finally stop.
His ears perked as he heard noise outside. Someone was coming. Faith jumped off of his lap, abandoning her picture to run to the door, like a puppy.
More to come later.
~Vego
He signed the bottom in a crude signature and then got up to put the book strategically on a bookshelf and walked to the door himself | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | [Okay so this is going to become a journal for both my character (Vego) and Amocin's character (Amocin duh) so we can kind of pick up the story where it left off. Whent he icon is Vego it is Vego writing as well as when the icon is Amocin it is Amocin talking. Simple enough. Enjoy. Feel free to respond if you wish but it'll all be out of character...that is...unless someone stops by *shrugs* I dunno] | | comments: Leave a comment |
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amocin_mclean's journal